My Son Is Selfish

There is no need to worry if you notice that your child’s behavior is selfish: it is normal for children to manifest it. However, it is best that parents try to help cope and eradicate these attitudes, since children do not know that they are. 

The word selfishness is defined as an excessive love of oneself, which causes disproportionate attention to one’s own interest, according to the RAE. But what else do we know about this?

Selfishness

From another point of view, there are those who believe that in selfishness there is mainly a lack of empathy, and the need to put one’s own needs first.

This results in someone selfish wanting to keep everything or appropriate what they like. On the other hand, they do not usually think about the world around them and when they interact with others it is because they are only looking for some benefit.

However, the good news is that social skills, empathy, sharing, and being flexible are all learned skills. Still, educating is necessary. And educating takes time; a necessary time.

Tips for when a child is selfish

It is important to be aware of the weakness and the harmful effects of being selfish, so we give you some tips that could help your child stop being selfish.

Talk to your child if he is selfish

Tell him clearly what belongs to him. You can tell him what is of each one and the things or objects that he should not use. This you should tell him when you go out with the child to visit a friend or if you receive visitors. In addition, you should teach him that it is better to share toys and have fun with his companions, rather than playing alone.

Set shifts

It is recommended to take turns to use the objects with fair times to avoid conflicts. This is in the case that your child is meeting with several children to distract themselves and they only have a few toys, books or treats.

Activate generous initiatives

When adults have generous initiatives, the child can be allowed to be part of the activity. The moment you are performing an altruistic act, explain what you are doing and the satisfaction that comes from being generous.

Encourage the little one to select some toys or clothes that no longer fit. Thus, you can give it away on special occasions such as Christmas or charity events. In this way, other children will be able to enjoy the presents, your child will learn to share and put selfish behavior aside.

When sharing is hard for her, remind her how happy the people receiving the presents will be and how proud you will be to know that your child is so generous.

Teach by example

Parents are the role model of their children. In this sense, it is great to create an atmosphere of generosity in the family on the initiative of the parents. In this way, the child will be able to internalize this virtue and begin to have a progressive opening in his environment. Remember that education begins at home.

The first initiatives to share that children show are towards their parents, so these actions should be recognized with much love. Thus, they will be motivating it to be a frequent practice, even with people outside the home.

Is your child selfish? Encourage teamwork

When a child is selfish and you put him to work as a team, he can be enriched by the exchange of ideas and experiences. This will allow you to accept criticism, be more communicative, generous, supportive and responsible. Therefore, he will have more confidence in himself.

The presence of an adult is essential when groups are made up of young children. However, it may be best for him to intervene only if necessary. You will be able to guide and help them, but it is better for the children to carry out the main task successfully.

One way to explain to the child the importance and benefits of teamwork is by integrating them into basketball, soccer, or any type of sport in which they depend on each other to achieve their goal. This way they will realize that one scores the point, but the game is won by the whole team.

People are selfish by nature

Finally, people are considered to be selfish by nature, since their survival depends on this. In the case of children, it does not mean that they are selfish per se , but that they are at a stage of development in which they are the protagonists because they have not yet developed empathy.

For this reason, when your child is selfish, it is suggested to put these tips into practice and, if this behavior still persists, it is recommended that you request psychotherapeutic support.

This will increase your self-esteem and understand the importance of the world around you. And it is that  in society better benefits are obtained by being altruistic and generous.